I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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