It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So much rum. So many feels.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
