these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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