there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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