guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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