So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
