Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
