No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
