You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize