3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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