at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
