Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
