Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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