Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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