am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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