I wish I could punch you in the face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
