I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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