Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
