She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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