She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize