Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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