I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
