Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
