Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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