I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
