You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize