im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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