I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
