South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
