drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
