need another drink. this is the easiest way
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
