do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
