i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now