She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
