He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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