You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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