talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Randomize
