maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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