I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I want is dick and wine.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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