Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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