Apparently you make a good broom.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
