i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
