I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
