i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
