just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
