I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
