I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
