There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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