Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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