You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
