Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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