sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
