She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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