question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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