Im at strip club and am horny
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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