i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
