hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
