dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
