um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
