love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
